Why are weddings stressful??

This is a question I ask myself quite often. Working in the wedding industry, it’s something that we witness with regularity. But why? A wedding is a celebration of love, this shouldn’t be a cause of stress, surely more of excitement and unfiltered happiness.  From the proposal to the Wedding day, it’s such a glorious time. Isn’t it?

Whether you have a short engagement or a long one, the process to plan, organise and execute the perfect day can be overwhelming, just the thought of the seating chart can be enough to send the calmest planner into a tizzy. So, what do we do?

We always take the time to reassure our couples that the big day isn’t THE big day, it’s THEIR big day. It isn’t about the rude uncle who may offend your future in-laws or the awkward interactions between your divorced parents and their new partners. None of that really matters.

Your wedding day is about you and only you, so my honest advice is to follow your heart, listen to yourself and your partner. Don’t be swayed by others’ opinions. If you want a Star Wars themed wedding, then that’s exactly what you should have!!

As an event planner you’d think I would have been thrilled and excited to plan my own wedding, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t stressed or anxious either. I was happy and just figured that it would all work out just fine! Steve was amazing!!! I kept suggesting that we run off to Gretna Green, but he wasn’t having it. He knew how much it would mean to me to have my Dad walk me down the aisle. And to wear a wedding dress! Bear in mind that we are both in our 40’s and have both been married before. The difference between our first weddings is that Steve had a very traditional wedding with a Church ceremony and a beautiful bride in a white wedding dress. I, however, had a very unconventional wedding in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. At the courthouse, wearing a little black dress! No family or friends were present or even knew about the ‘wedding’. And after the ceremony, I took him back to work and I took myself home.

This time though, our wedding was our version of perfect and we both enjoyed every minute! I refused to listen to any drama in the weeks leading up to our big day and tried really hard to block out all the noise! It worked and I felt more relaxed on that day than pretty much any other day despite being the centre of attention, being in front of a crowd, a crowd of family and friends! It was the BEST day!!

Something that you should know about me is that I suffer from terrible social anxiety. It affects everything, I get anxious before family gatherings, meals with friends, large crowds… It can be crippling. BUT I don’t feel any anxiety before a wedding. I just enjoy them all so very much. I can’t explain it.  It actually hurts my heart when we see a very stressed couple. It really doesn’t have to be that way. I wish I could tell every bride and groom in the world to just enjoy every single second of the experience of planning your wedding. Attend fayres, or don’t… it’s all entirely up to you. Don’t let family drama dampen your day! Don’t be coerced into inviting your parents’ friends just because they’ve known you since you were little, unless you want to that is!

If you have that one friend who always criticizes your style, don’t take them dress or suit shopping with you! Take your trusted friends and family, or just your absolute BFF. Don’t let anyone take away from your dream. Or your dream outfit!

This is such an exciting time for you so just relax and make a list. The more you can get accomplished early on, the better.

When you’re both ready, set a budget and take some time to make a list of the approximate number of guests that you would like to be a part of your special day. Remember your budget when comprising your guest list.

Research online! You can compare prices, look at galleries, find ideas and venues that you may not have known about. Enjoy looking at the pictures, comparing venues, discussing the pros and cons.

Pick a venue and a date. Choose somewhere you love! It doesn’t have to be expensive, it can be in your garden if you want. Stay within your budget but be willing to compromise a little with either the date or the place if needs be.

Discuss the details with each other, plan it together. Set out a clear plan of what you both want and then make it happen! Of course you should utilise your Maid of Honour, Best Man, family, and friends to help make arrangements but ultimately it has to be your vision.

Once again, make a list! As soon as you have that list, you can enjoy adding and removing tasks as and when they happen. It’s fun!

It is my promise to all our couples that I will do everything I can to make sure your day is as relaxed and carefree as possible and that you are comfortable during your photos, whether group shots, or candid, you can rest assured that I’ll be on the lookout to make sure everything is perfect.

With Steve, you are guaranteed a fantastic photographer, who is unobtrusive, relaxed, and professional. He will edit each of your photos one by one to ensure the very best for you to treasure forever.

When you need a little calm, you can look to Steve and me for some gentle reassurance that everything is just as it should be.

Love,

Dani xx